Welcome back for our The Valley Episode 8 recap, “The Invite Fight.” In last week’s episode, Kristen found herself still very much on the outs with the rest of the gang. Michelle and Jesse made it clear they would no longer be at the same events that “Crazy Kristen” was at. Jax and Brittany’s marriage issues were on full display while getting away for an overnight at the Mondrian. Needless to say, the group of friends are finding themselves in a bit of turmoil. Here’s everything that went down in The Valley Episode 8.
Agent of chaos
The episode opens with Kristen once again doubling down on the rumors regarding Jesse and Michelle. The OG has come prepared for her lunch with Jasmine, as she notes she also had texts from Jax to support her claims. The former Jets cheerleader is trying her best to get to the bottom of who started the rumors. She reveals what she learned from Jax, sharing it was understood that Kristen had information about Michelle texting another man.
But it turns out Jax was the one who first relayed the information one month prior. A production flashback showed Jax comfortably telling Kristen there was another guy as he asked, “You’re not filming this, are you?” Yes, Jax. Bravo is most definitely filming this. The number one guy gossip in the group went on to say, “Brittany told me this. I could ruin a marriage.”
Jax then texted Kristen writing, “Do not repeat anything personal to Michelle. I don’t know if it’s true. I never said it on camera.” And there we have it, folks. The root of all rumors usually starts with Mr. Jax Taylor, who, in fact, did say all of this on camera. Kristen shares that from what “Michelle told me she was texting with someone who was not Jesse. She had an emotional affair with this guy.”
Trouble in paradise
Everywhere you look, there is trouble within The Valley. Jesse has removed Kristen from the group chat and Jax states that he has blocked her on all formats.
Cameras caught up with Brittany and Jax the morning after their failed date night at the Mondrian, and all is not well. Brittany and Jax tried for filming sake to have a proper conversation, but they were clearly arguing every day, all day, and even the cameraman wanted out. Brittany is DONE with her relationship, and it is evident.
Caperna dinner
Can it be the group had a dinner with no drama!? Evidently, all that was needed was for Janet, aka the new Stassi Schroeder, to host a dinner outside and not invite Kristen.
Once again, we see Brittany and Jax not even making it through the canapés before having a mini fight. It turns out that all it takes for B to bow out is one shot of sake. Jax, being Jax, didn’t feel an ounce of sympathy for his wife, telling her, “I told you so,” and sent her home via an Uber, not even springing for Uber Black. Britt leaves the party in tears, telling cameras, “It’s hard to be someone’s punching bag. It’s not fair.”
However, the night turned around thanks to Sparkle and the Drag Your Heart game. It was basically a mix between the newlywed game and Survivor. The Valley couples tried their best to prove they were all still in love. And Jax did way better partnered with Zack than he would have with Brittany.
It’s not surprising to anyone that Jesse and Michelle performed horribly, and that’s being kind. When asked how long they lasted in bed, Michelle wrote two minutes, and Jesse wrote 22 seconds: clearly, there hasn’t been any seven minutes in heaven for a very long time.
Kristen relaunches James Mae
After years of mocking, Kristen is back working on her baby, choosing to host a mini fashion show. It turns out Katie was wrong when she once criticized Kristen, noting all she needed to do was find a T-shirt print on Pinterest. Now Kristen knows she wasn’t invited to the hibachi dinner hosted by Janet, but will K do the same? Zack once again tried his best to explain how Kristen’s outbursts soured the last few gatherings.
But the big takeaway which Zack and Bravo pointed out, was how much of a pot stirrer Janet is. According to Zack, Janet is being let off the hook for her bad behavior because she is with child. Kristen is told not to create more drama and just include everyone.
The James Mae friends and family event is beautiful, but I can’t get behind the no-pants look! Kristen did not extend an invite to Janet or Michelle, putting everyone in another uncomfortable position. Kristen wasn’t willing to write a “sonnet or give up her first-born child” to make amends.
Jax, in all his glory, couldn’t wait to tell Kristen that she wasn’t invited to Janet’s baby moon in Big Bear. But first, Jax needs to figure out what a relaunch is because I’ve never seen the man more confused.
Plant-based medic retreat
Jesse is still going forward with the treatment and is trying to “make himself the person Michelle wants to be with.” The Boston native is ready to let go of his ego but I’m going to take a moment and defend Jesse.
I feel that he is trying to be something he isn’t all for the sake of a crumbling marriage. Michelle flat out tells him she hopes he “changes his personality.” Sir, this isn’t your person. This Hail Mary of a move isn’t worth it, man.
Michelle doesn’t see how one night is going to change Jesse. She tells cameras she doesn’t believe her now ex-husband is willing to put in the work.
Miss USA kicks butt
Nia and Danny are the cutest, and I love how they support one another. I could watch a compilation of Danny running up to the ladies yelling, “Get in the van!” all day long, but I had to keep watching the episode instead.
During a water break, Kristen dares to suggest that she is the “peacemaker.” B is having none of it and quickly tells Kristen never to bring her name into the drama, especially when it is a “dumpster fire.”
The end of the episode shows Kristen frustrated and not willing to roll over for peace. Sadly Zack is also being iced out by Janet due to his association with the James Mae founder. And that isn’t cool. Janet is currently the queen of the castle, and frankly, she is acting like quite a rascal. I felt bad for Zack, who was the only single friend of the group being left out. Janet is just being mean.
Now, are both Zack and Brittany trying to make Kristen care about the group? Yes. Is it worth it? Probably not.
The Valley continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE VALLEY EPISODE 8? DO YOU FEEL BAD FOR ZACK? IS JANET BEING MEAN?