In Heart Eyes, coworkers who want to f**k are targeted by the Heart Eyes killer, who relishes in hunting couples on Valentine’s Day and dispatching with their sad existences in sadistic ways. Heart Eyes is also, sort of, a romantic comedy.
Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding play Ally and Jay respectively. They work together, but Jay is going to sexually harass his way into Ally’s heart even if his life depends on it. Jay’s a good-looking dude, though his confidence-to-the-tune-of-cockiness-to-the-tune-of-not-saying-no-to-his-female-coworker demeanor is questionable, to say the least. Either way, the Heart Eyes killer wants to kill them.
After a pretty wretched opening sequence–and good horror movies really do need a great opening–Heart Eyes recovers with a moderately entertaining, fast-paced series of events. Entertaining, to emphasize, but as forgettable as that person you went on a date with once 15 years ago and they broke your heart and you’ll never forgive them but you’ve forgotten what they look like or why you care.
Heart Eyes attempts to straddle horror and comedy and while you could argue it’s effective at doing so, the movie neither works as a great slasher flick or terrific comedy. While the humor and lighthearted tone that sometimes emerges throughout this bloody piece work is amusing, it is most successful at making Heart Eyes less exciting. The movie feels as though director Josh Ruben just wanted to do something fun on the weekends, without worrying too much about landing real shocks or surprises.
As is, Heart Eyes works to a degree but if you don’t fully vibe with it–and you probably won’t–it’s a shrugworthy affair. I certainly shrugged.
Review by Erik Samdahl.