Welcome back to the latest recap for The Valley. Last time, Zack had a meltdown in Mexico. Meanwhile, Danny was grilled about his social media activity. Here’s what happened in The Valley Season 3 Episode 14: “Hips Don’t Lie.”
What happened in The Valley Season 3 Episode 14?
Michelle had difficulty watching Jesse and Lacy’s PDA. Meanwhile, Nia and Danny squabbled during Zack’s birthday party. And following an accident, Zack landed in the ER.
Janet was struggling in The Valley
After stepping away from the table, Janet continued to speak with Jason on the phone between sobs. “It’s bringing up a lot of unresolved feelings about stuff I can’t say,” Janet told her husband. Finally, she asked to speak with the producer off-camera.
Meanwhile, Nia said that she no longer believed Janet’s apology. And Jesse slammed Janet for running away from conflict. Well, she did exit the bus before the group and then walked away from the table.
“Danny’s actions did trigger me,” Janet said in her confessional. “And I lashed out. And, sure, I’m sorry that the trigger caused me to say the words.” She added, “I have a hard time apologizing to somebody that has done something that I know causes so much pain.” What was Janet alluding to?
After Janet returned to the table, the shopping excursion continued. While Jesse and Michelle shopped for a gift for their daughter, Isabella, they marveled at how well they were getting along. “I want this energy to stay like this, please, when Lacy arrives,” Michelle said. When Jesse told her, “That’s on you,” Michelle admitted an uncomfortable truth.
“It’s a little awkward for me to see you so affectionate and, like, kissing her right in front of me,” she stated. She added, “You were obviously never like that with me, so.”
In his talking head, Jesse acknowledged Michelle’s feelings. However, Jesse isn’t sympathetic as he watched Michelle and her ex-boyfriend, Aaron Nosler, last season.
Janet slams Kristen in The Valley
At the beach, Kristen jumped into the ocean sans top. When Michelle slipped out of her dress to go topless, she told Jesse not to look at her. “I’m sure this will be amazing for your real estate career,” he quipped as Michelle laughed.
Later, Lacy finally arrived and filled Jesse in on her chat with Jasmine, Brittany, and Zack. Lacy revealed that Janet texted Brittany, sharing that “Kristen is throwing Jasmine, Zack, and Brittany under the bus with Nia to defend Danny.”
Elsewhere, in the girls’ suite, Janet and Michelle spilled the tea. Michelle said that the discussion at lunch “was heated” and “they put all the blame” on Janet.
“Kristen was like, ‘Well, if we’re going to talk about people’s drinking, we should probably start with Brittany, Jasmine, and Zack,’” Janet said. Michelle added that Kristen said, “‘Brittany gets a certain way when she gets drunk, but we don’t talk about Brittany.’”
Poor Brittany, who was having the best day, started to become emotional. “She’s willing to defend [Danny] so hard she’s willing to throw you, Jasmine, and Zack, under the bus,” Janet stated.
Then, Jasmine weighed in. “That’s some f*cked up sh*t,” she said. According to Jasmine, “Kristen doesn’t “even hang out with Nia. They’re not f*cking friends.” Cue the flashback of Brittany confronting Kristen about her alleged friendship with Nia. Kristen said she was close with Nia, and called Brittany her “number one.”
Meanwhile, Nia told Danny that Janet and Michelle claimed that some people didn’t feel comfortable around Danny when he was drinking. However, Danny shared that Jasmine, Brittany, Melissa, Zack, and Benji said they don’t care about his alcohol intake. Nia was shocked since Michelle alleged that Brittany was “uncomfortable” around Danny when he was imbibing.
Welcome to the “Ho Era!”
As everyone embraced Zack’s “Ho Era” theme, Zack was impressed by Schwartz’s black lace shirt, leather collar, and white face make-up. “You’re a slutty clown, and I didn’t think that was possible,” Zack told his buddy. “Deep down, I’ve always had like a slutty little Goth guy that just never got to come out,” Schwartz admitted in his confessional.
The group had a party bus, which they decorated for Zack’s “Big Slutty Gay” birthday soiree. There were Pride flags, penises stuck to the wall, and balloons. The plan was to bar hop and then hit the club. The group climbed to the top, open-air deck. Since Nia had to feed baby Adelaide, she and Danny were catching an Uber.
Everyone was standing up, dancing, and laughing. Michelle’s boobs made another surprise appearance while she was dancing, so Jesse and Lacy moved to the lower level. “What is happening here? I was married to her for five years,” Jesse said in his talking head. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her naked.” Please, sir. No one is throwing you a pity party.
Brittany and Michelle call out Jesse in The Valley
Naturally, Brittany confronted Jesse. “You f*cking owe me an apology … for what happened last night,” she said. “I’m sick and tired of this Danny and Nia sh*t,” he responded, while Brittany pointed out that she was reacting to how he treated her.
“You lumped her in with Jax [Taylor],” Lacy told her boyfriend. “He’s obviously an abomination. So, just apologize.”
In her confessional, Brittany remarked, “What delulu land is this? That I’m having to defend myself against these crazy accusations.”
“Honestly … I’ve held this resentment for you for over a year,” Jesse said. Then he detailed how, at Michelle’s party last season, Brittany said that Lacy shouldn’t have met Isabella. However, Brittany explained that she was upset because Michelle didn’t know that Lacy had met Isabella.
Then, Michelle jumped in. “You made the rule with me that I could not introduce a guy, but you f*cking did it behind my back.” Finally, Jesse apologized to Brittany.
Zack’s birthday accident in The Valley
Meanwhile, on top of the bus, Zack was panicking. “A bird sh*t on me!” he exclaimed as Jasmine tried to clean him up. Unfortunately, when Zack was inspecting his arm, he was hit in the head by a sign.
Zack was bleeding and went down to the lower level of the bus. “Can we find a doctor that can meet us at the club?” Zack asked as he sat on the ground, his head wrapped in a bloody towel. Zack ordered the group to head to the bar while he headed to the ER with Benji for possible stitches.
Eventually, the group hit the club. When Danny was dancing, Nia told him, “Baby, no hip movement. People are uncomfortable. You need to control yourself.” It’s not like he was on top of the bar with the male go-go dancers.
So, Danny made the rounds, informing people that his hips had been grounded. Meanwhile, Michelle told Schwartz she wished that she could leave because of Lacy and Jesse’s affectionate behavior.
Later, Danny told Nia that he wanted to talk with Michelle. However, Nia requested that the conversation wait until the morning. Then, Michelle hopped up onto the bar and danced. “She’s making me feel uncomfortable right now,” Danny remarked.
Danny was in rare form in The Valley
When Jesse wanted to dance with Danny, he was ready to hit the floor. “I’m going to have a great time tonight!” he exclaimed. “Get uncomfortable!”
Jesse, Luke, and Danny headed to a balcony to show off their dance moves. Finally, Zack arrived, with a white bandage wrapped around his head and under his chin. He looked like he was recuperating from a facelift.
Finally, Zack danced with the male dancers and had a blast. At the end of the night, everyone crammed into one van. Danny was lying down on a seat in the back of the van. “Michelle better not be getting in here,” he commented.
Nia urged Danny to lie down again, as he announced that he was getting annoyed. When Nia told Danny to bend his knees so she could slide in beside him, he went off. “Do not dig your fingernails in my … freakin’ … stomach!” he said.
His wife responded that “it was an accident” and asked Danny to move his feet as she felt “claustrophobic.” He replied, “I can’t deal with this freakin’ crap, dude.” And they say chivalry is dead.
Then, poor Janet peed in a cup while Jasmine shielded her. Then, she proudly showed it off. Classy! “This might be one of my favorite birthdays,” Zack announced.
The Valley airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on Bravo. Episodes will stream on Peacock.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE VALLEY SEASON 3 EPISODE 14? DID KRISTEN THROW BRITTANY, JASMINE, AND ZACK UNDER THE BUS?