V/H/S spinoffs aren’t just inevitable … they’re like, really inevitable, I guess.
From B/E/T/A to V/P/N/, the V/H/S spin-off possibilities are virtually endless!
The V/H/S franchise is pretty much an annual Halloween rite at this point. Each fall, we wait with bated breathe for the next installment in the anthology series to make its way to streaming. And year in, year out, the series almost always manages to deliver. Like the yearly Simpsons Treehouse of Horror special, it’s a tradition that could go on for years, if not decades.
Of course, the formula is going to need to be tweaked every now and then to keep things fresh and inventive. So, in what ways could the venerable V/H/S series veer off the beaten path in the future and expand its analog-horror horizons? Well, I’ve got five potential spinoff concepts laid out below — just make sure Shudder cuts me a check if and when any of these V/H/S/ sequels ever become a reality …
B/E/T/A!
The gimmick? An early ‘80-flavored anthology — all filmed using authentic early ‘80s technology and equipment.
Why it would be awesome: Pretty much anybody can make an entertaining ‘80s throwback using digital cameras and FinalCutPro. But you have to have a a very special technical knack to do the same thing using actual camcorders and video editing equipment circa Reagan’s first term of office. Not only would this force filmmakers to get very creative with their practical effects, it would also require them to dream up some clever workarounds in terms of editing, pacing and even the settings of their mini-movies. The end result, though, would be worth the hardships: a 90-minute-long compilation of vignettes that have the unmistakable feel and vibe of an early ‘80s TV broadcast, which is something even the best modern day editing software really can’t replicate. Oh, and bonus points if the filmmakers can find a way to complete their short movies in just one take, a’la that great Japanese flick One Cut of the Dead.
What would it look like? Faces of Death meets every hilariously awful public access TV talk show you’ve ever seen in your life.
V/H/S/: How I Spent My Summer Vacation!
The gimmick? A compendium of “found footage” mini-movies with the same overarching family road trip motif.
Why it would be awesome: If you grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, you probably went on family vacations in the summer. And there’s approximately a one million percent chance your dad or step-dad or somebody brought one of those humongous home video camcorders with them to document every unimportant and insignificant moment of the trip. It’s pretty much the perfect platform for the 20-minute horror movie gimmick; you introduce the characters, something goes awry, kooky things start going down and then the all out horror kicks into high gear. I mean, there are SO many opportunities here: trips to DisneyLand, the Grand Canyon, Florida, the Catskills — like, you could subtitle this one “road trip of terror” and make it a perfect release around Independence Day. And you thought having to “hold it in” until the next rest stop area was terrifying!
What would it look like? One part America’s Funniest Home Videos, one part Unsolved Mysteries, one part National Lampoon’s Vacation and one part Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
V/H/S/: Micro Edition!
The gimmick? A 90-minute found footage spectacular — made up entirely of 60-second-long movies.
Why would it be awesome? Anybody can tell a great horror story with 60 minutes. But you have to be really creative if you want to tell one in just one minute. And therein lies the challenge/intrinsic awesomeness of V/H/S: Micro Edition — it’s high speed, instant gratification action that keeps the scares coming nonstop. But it’s not just empty calories here, we’re talking fully fleshed out horror yarns that tell three-act stories in the same amount of time it takes you re-heat leftover pizza. It’s a similar concept to the ABCS of Death series, only *faster.* And let’s be real, way more movies should punish the viewers for daring to blink in the first place.
What would it look like? The WNUF Halloween Special meets all of those WarioWare games on the Game Boy Advance you used to play back in the day.
D/V/D/!
The gimmick? Get ready to relive the Great Recession years all over again as the V/H/S/ franchise FINALLY takes the next evolutionary step in media storage — only this time, you have to worry about the disc scratching you!
Why would it be awesome? Well, we’ve already had V/H/S/ installments patterned after the ephemera and aesthetics of 1984, 1994 and 1999, so why not take the same approach and apply it to 2008? Oh, the horrors we could take advantage of there, from terrible MySpace haircuts to the sub-prime mortgage crisis. The vignettes pretty much write themselves here: I mean, how clunky the YouTube home page looked back then is just the tip of the iceberg.
What would it look like? I mean, like the late 2000s, I guess … however you’d describe how Twilight looked, basically.
V/P/N/!
Th gimmick? Talk about meta — a digital streaming shocker about, well, digital streaming shockers!
Why would it be awesome? There’s already a name for the subgenre, believe it or not — screen life horror. You’ve seen a movie that makes use of the desktop’s eye view gimmick before, whether it was Unfriended or Missing or Host or any other number of Zoom-age horror opuses. So why not take that particular filmmaking hook and give it the full-on V/H/S/ treatment? The material seems pretty obvious: vignettes about kids torrenting evil spirits into their hard drives, people logging onto LinkedIn and having all of their dark secrets aired to the world at large, Roblox characters coming alive and chasing victims all over the house like in that one Trilogy of Terror sequence, so on and so forth. There are good ideas and there are great ideas. And then there are ideas like this one, which is so fitting and so obvious that they pretty much don’t have a choice but to do it at some point.
What would it look like? Your Instagram stream … only possessed by Satan.